Restoration

As summer days turned to Autumn this year, I started feeling restless. Restless because we were approaching the final quarter of the year. I was agitated. Agitated because I didn't get enough of summer and the renewal and refreshment that summer often brings to me. I usually look forward to Autumn ~ My favorite time of year with its earthy scents, mellow weather and the rustic beauty displayed in rainbows of crimson and gold. As the days of August, September and October rolled like a freight train towards November, I became more and more anxious. I have struggled to find rest. To find peace. To find the refreshment that my soul craves. The kind of rest that can be found only when I am alone with my God. And so I retreat to the mountain.

Reflection. Renewal. Refreshment. Restoration.

My heart sings with joy when I am on the mountain. My God is here. His glory abounds all around me. My senses are overloaded with the beauty of creation. The warmth of the golden November sun flickering through the trees casting beams upon the forest floor. The brilliant blue sky giving way to the bold grey clouds rolling over the mountain. The crunch of leaves under my feet as I climb through the wooded wonderland to the mountain ridge. I close my eyes and breath in the soothing scents of pine and rich earthy decay. Swirls of leaves dance upon the mountain side as the gentle breath of impending winter whispers through the trees. Trees that reach their outstretched arms to the sky in glorious praise to the one who set the stars in space. Waking up to a frosty wonderland dusted with snow from a fleeting overnight storm. Breathing in crisp mountain air. Sipping coffee as the steam rolls over the the cup's edge and delicately suspends itself in the stillness of the morning. I am filled with excitement and thanksgiving. I give my time and my self to my God. I am still. I am filled. My soul is at peace as I let him speak.

All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator

for all I have not seen. 

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Reflecting. Wondering. Questioning. 

Trusting my creator with all that I am. It's hard to do when we don't understand. We don't have the answers to things that trouble us. Our lives are filled with turmoil, disappointment unexpected outcomes, loss, heartache. We get tired of asking and praying for something that never produces an answer. Or worse yet, an answer we didn't want.  But yet we must go on trusting a God we do not see and waiting on him to give us the strength he promises us. 

In Isaiah 40:31, we are assured that God will be with us if we wait on Him. ~

“Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; 

They will mount up with wings like eagles, 

They will run and not get tired, 

They will walk and not become weary.”

It all begins with the renewal of our mind. In Romans 12:2, we are reminded to not be of this world. 

“And do not be conformed to this world, 

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, 

so that you may prove what the will of God is, 

that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” 

When we allow ourselves to be renewed by God, beginning with our mind. We must set ourselves on the path that he has created for us and follow the words that he has provided along our sometimes weary way. 

"...And that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind." 

~ Ephesians 4:23

One of our Nation's founding fathers, Thomas Paine once said, "The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection." 

And so I come to the mountain. To reflect and be renewed by my God. On the mountain is where I hear Him call me by name. He assures me that he is my God. His command is simple. Walk with me. Surrender. He is the God of my life and he has created all that I can see and all that I cannot see. Through this journey called life, I am finding (when I actually stop to listen), that perhaps surrender is the key to renewal. On this mountain, I find it easy to surrender my all to God. To give him all that troubles me. To worship Him. To praise Him. To thank Him. For the bountiful blessings of my life. By praying, reflecting and surrendering, I am renewed. And through renewal, I find refreshment and restoration to the God of the universe. Through him I am made strong.

"The faithful love of the Lord never ends. 

His mercies never cease.

Great is his faithfulness; 

his mercies begin afresh each morning."

~ Lamentations 3:22-23

Seasons Change

Autumn in all of it's golden glory fades to withering hues of decay. There is a tender solemness in the air as fall warns of the impending winter that will soon come. It is but a season. A season of change. A season of endings and death. And we will endure the winter and its shades of grey as we wait expectantly for the renewal and rebirth in the springtime. For in death, there is life. It will come, just as our God promises. 

"Behold, I am making all things new." 

~ Revelation 21:5

It's a fact of life. Seasons change. The natural earthly seasons. Our own personal physical seasons and our spiritual seasons.  The seasons of our life. It's true. As we go through life, we experience difficulties, death and decay, but we also experience rebirth and growth. There is a time for each of these in our lives as God has ordained. We endure tough times and trials. We experience the death of loved ones, of relationships, of jobs, of so many things that were once an essential part of our lives. Sometimes things that were once a vibrant part of our life find their way to stagnant decay and eventual death. It is during these times that we learn to rely on God and to trust Him. We may not understand why we are experiencing a particular season or what God is doing, but one thing we do know is that God is at work. And when God is at work, you can believe that the outcome will be a glorious one. It will be worth the suffering or heartache that you endured. It will be made beautiful! In His time.

In Ecclesiastes, Solomon reminds us that God has ordained how many days we will be upon this earth. He also knows the day, the time and the circumstance for every event in our life. We must remember that no matter what we are going through, there will be an end to it that will bring about a new beginning. 

"For everything there is a season ..."

~ Ecclesiastes 3:1

"Yet God has made everything beautiful for it's own time."

~ Ecclesiastes 3:11

Trust God. Rest in the season that you are in. He longs for you to open your heart and listen. He is with you always. Even in the tough seasons, he speaks. Let him speak to you. He will bring you through the seasons just as he promises. 

How Sweet the Sound

Grace. God's Grace. 

Defined as the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings. It is underserving mercy, kindness and patience. It is strength, divine help,  and forgiveness from God for our misgivings and our sins.

We need forgiveness for our sins, healing for our ailing bodies and souls, provision for where we lack, strength for our weakness, and light for our path.

God gives them all and more.

"From the fullness of grace, we have all received one blessing 
after another. ~ John 1:16"

Grace. God's Amazing Grace.

Experiencing his grace and glory on a mountain top. 

"Amazing Grace. How sweet the sound." Oh, how I love the words of the age old hymn that touches my soul. John Newton (1725-1807) got it right when he penned the words that speak of soul deliverance, redemption and forgiveness. His life and a series of experiences (along with the prayers of a Christian mother) led him to spiritual conversion and an awakening of his soul. The greatness of God and the impact of this song spans the ages and is evident in the multiple remakes and variations of the song as it has been sung and recorded by many individuals and groups through the years. One arrangement has become a current favorite of mine. I love it when a particular song speaks to my soul and brings the comfort and peace of God and his promises to me. The simplistic beauty and the words of "How Sweet the Sound", by Citizen Way cause me to lift my hands in glorious praise to our wonderful creator! "It's a beautiful, beautiful sound." "Hallelujah, you restore my soul." 

How Sweet the Sound by Citizen Way  (Click here to view and listen.) 

Throughout our lives we face many trials and triumphs, defeats and victories, sorrows and joys. It's sometimes easy for us to forget about God's amazing grace when life is rolling along smoothly and things are going our way. It's when the bricks of our lives come tumbling down around us that we pause and question, "Why?".  It's when the routine and normal and the "what's always been" suddenly changes and sends your life reeling out of control. It is during those times that we are forced to dig deep in search of the strength we need to carry us through. It is during those times that God reminds us that He is the strength we need; that He is the grace that delivers us. His grace covers us always and his blessings abound aplenty, if we just take notice. He simply wants us to raise our hands to Him and praise Him. His blessings are plentiful, especially in the trials of life. 

The past year has brought me many reasons to take notice of His grace. My year has been filled with an abundance of happiness and many reasons to celebrate, including the marriage of my oldest daughter to a young man we are now proud to call "son".  What a glorious day it was. And through the year, we have also had many other celebrations and joyous family events to praise God for, however, in the midst of joy,  I have been dealt some challenges. The normal in life suddenly became abnormal. Things that were easy for me suddenly became very difficult. And so, the past few months have been a struggle of health concerns and a reminder of my human weaknesses in more ways that I like to admit. Through much prayer and lots of medical appointments, I am seeking answers. Answers that elude me. I have found myself often frustrated and wondering why I have been dealt this challenge. What changed and how can I make it better? In my frustration, God frequently reminds me that he is sovereign and that he has my life under control. It is not up to me to figure it out or to "fix it". He reminds me that is His job. He simply wants me to rely on Him. To trust in Him. He will be the one to make it better and to give me the answers. He also reminds me that my new challenges are small. Small by comparison to the challenges I have watched friends and family members endure over this same period of time. He reminds me that HE is my refuge and that he will carry me. He is bigger than all of it. His grace covers me. 

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are 
the everlasting arms. ~ Deut 33:27"

God is my fortress and my deliverer. The Old Testament word for grace is "chesed", which means "deliverance". He delivers me daily from my pain, my afflictions, my sins. The New Testament word for grace is "charis", which mean "provision of salvation." How perfect is that? He delivers us and he provides for us. He is our salvation. Not earned, but given because we have faith. He provides everything we need, always.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith ~ 
and this is not from yourselves,it is a gift of God ... 
~ Eph. 2:8-9"

And so, I continue on in my daily walk with Him. Knowing that his gifts freely flow. His blessings are many, each and every day ~ even in the midst of challenges. We live in a world created by Him. He never promised us that we wouldn't struggle. He never promised us an easy life. What He did promise was that He would care for us, save us, and provide for us if only we would believe. His grace and beauty are plentiful. I look out at this glorious world He designed and I lift my hands in praise to Him that created all. He leaves me breathless in awe and wonder. He daily sends down grace to cover me.

"His grace flows down and covers me... ~ Christy Nockels, "Grace Flows Down"

Seeking and praising Him on the mountain.
Photo credit to Lisa Lococo-Shipp @ Photography by Lisa

Whether it is at home, at work or on some mountain trail. I continue on. Not giving up. Not giving in. Trusting Him. I seek Him wherever and whenever I can. I speak to Him, I question Him, I listen to Him, I rely on Him, I worship Him with all that I am. He gives me peace and comfort. He restores my soul. He is the King of Glory. The great "I AM". The wonderful counselor. He is grace. Amazing grace. I look at God's beauty and I see grace. I lift my hands in praise to Him that created all and daily sends down grace to cover me.

Let His grace flow over you and cleanse you. Let it free you from the snares of this world.

Let grace cover you. Let Him restore your soul.

God's grace. God's Amazing Grace.

How sweet the sound.

Grace.

Legacy of Love Tribute

Legacy of Love.

It all began on a cold January day in 1966. The 29th day of January to be exact. Fifty years ago. One-half of a century. A dapper young groom and beautiful young bride were married. Joined together in holy matrimony before friends, family and God. The day was snowy and cold ~ But not even the bite of winter could chill the tender love that was formed by the union of two hearts on that day. It was a love that was just the beginning of a beautiful legacy. A legacy of love.

Lawrence Martin Lauer and Carol Jo Reigenborn. Sweethearts. Joined together on that day to begin a legacy that would span five decades that is marked this day, this week, this year, January 29, 2016. That day was the beginning of an amazing love that would endure many trials, struggles, challenges, joys, accomplishments and celebrations. A love that would create a legacy. A love built on a strong foundation and grounded in faith with God at the center.

I am grateful for the upbringing that my siblings and I had. We grew up in a home based on strong Christian principles and a devoted love for God. From a very young age, I can remember the big black bible that had it's place on the coffee table. I remember being intrigued when my parents would read it to me. Mom and dad taught us the importance of a personal relationship with our God and Savior and the importance of prayer. They taught us to live by biblical commandments. In keeping with the 5th commandment, I continue to honor my parents, not just because God tells me to, but because they are worthy of honor from me, and from my siblings, their children. We honor them on this day as they celebrate their Golden Anniversary and celebrate 50 years together.

God purposely placed them in each others lives. Before time began, God had already ordained that they would be man and wife and that they would be the parents of Lareen, Melani, Tamara and Nathaniel. God had a plan long before they ever dreamed it. I am grateful that he chose them to be our parents. Only God knew that together, Larry and Carol would be strong. That they would endure hard times and celebrate good times ~ all for the sake of their family.

I remember growing up on the farm and being proud that we were farm kids. There is nothing more rewarding that good, hard farm work and seeing the fruits of your labors. I remember many days of dad leaving the house before the sun was up and returning home as the sun was setting or later. On those days, I remember mom packing a lunch and we would go meet dad in the field to take him his lunch. I remember many, many long hot days of summer. Irrigating. Alfalfa harvest. Wheat harvest. Herding cattle. Just to name a few. As kids we always looked forward to the evenings when dad would come home early after a hard day of work. On the spur of the moment, mom would pack up a cooler of food and dad would grab the giant tractor inner tube. Off to the lake we would go. We would swim in the water and play in the sand and enjoy our evening picnic. A refreshing end to a hot summer day. Family time at its best.

I remember summer outings and family vacations. We never took big fancy vacations. We didn't need to. Going to Denver for a few days of fun at the zoo and Waterworld or driving through the Colorado mountains and enjoying God's creations and quaint little towns were all we needed. The highlight for us was staying in a hotel with a swimming pool every night! A trip to Iowa and being awed by the mighty Mississippi River and a trip to South Dakota to visit Mount Rushmore and the Black Hills stand out as milestone vacations too! Good times.

I won't ever forget the blizzard of 1975. I remember the fear I felt watching dad go out into the blizzard to care for the livestock. I remember praying that he would make it back in okay. I recall multiple days and nights without electricity. Mom cooked noodle soup over the fire to feed us. We read or played cards together by candlelight. We slept by the fireplace at night to keep warm. When the storm cleared, we experienced sadness because of livestock lost. Joy because there were snowdrifts that reached from rooftop to rooftop. It was a child's sledding wonderland.

Then there was the time that dad talks of having enough money to purchase a particular tool that would make farming life easier for my him. Dad took the money and went to town to purchase the tool, but instead came home with a brand new, red, shiny swing set for me. It caught his eye when he walked in the store and suddenly the tool didn't mean as much as bringing joy to his child. That exact swing set moved from the farm with them to their current home. It still sits in the backyard. It has been enjoyed by all four of us kids, numerous cousins and friends and is still enjoyed by grandkids.

One of my favorite stories comes from early in mom and dad's marriage. Dad recalls that they really wanted to see a new movie that had come out, but they didn't even have enough money to go. It just so happened that a man knocked on the door that day and had gotten his vehicle stuck in mud up the road and needed assistance. My dad wouldn't normally accept payment when helping someone in need, but on this particular day, dad accepted just enough money to treat mom to that night out at the movies!

I will never, ever forget the first signs of a raging summer storm in the western sky and the storm warnings that followed. Mom would light the holy candles and we would pray that we would be spared from the severe weather. Sometimes our prayers were answered. Sometimes we stood at the windows and cried while we watched the seasons' work and crops get pummeled into the ground by the hail and wind. It hurt, but mom and dad were always optimistic, knowing God had a plan and would provide.

I remember the hours we spent in the hospital waiting room, praying, while dad was having heart valve replacement surgery. We prayed mom through not one, but two major back surgeries and the recoveries that followed all. We have an amazing, healing God who has restored them to health each time they have endured health issues.

I remember the decision my parents made for dad to give up farming after his heart surgery. The sadness and realization of giving up the farm and watching it all go on that cold January day of the farm sale. But the memories of the farm are many and we learned so much from mom and dad, from the crops and livestock and the outdoor things like taking time to go fishing and enjoy God's beauty in each little thing. We learned of indoor things too ~ Cooking, cleaning, and providing a warm and welcoming home for all. There was nothing like coming home from school and being greeted by the sweet aroma of fresh baked bread, chocolate chip cookies, cabbage pockets, cinnamon rolls, or dinner on the stove.

Mom and dad taught us all the art of gardening, but I am pretty sure none of us kids will ever master it they way they have! We all yearly reap the bountiful blessings that abound from their garden in the summer. I have loved watching my kids get excited about going to grandma and grandpa's just so they can pick the veggies and eat them!

I remember their generosity always and their willingness to send each one of us to college. Mom and dad instilled in us the importance of education, learning, responsibility and integrity. After the expenses of college, they dipped into their savings once again to provide first class weddings for each of us girls.

I remember their joy when each and every one of the grandchildren have entered the world and the family. They now have 12 grandchildren! They are proud of each and every one of them individually and even accepted one more this summer when their oldest granddaughter got married.

Mom and Dad ~
Oh the memories. I could go on forever, but these are some of the ones that come to mind right now. All of these memories reflect the values you have taught us and the value of family, togetherness and love. You instilled in each one of us a strong work ethic and the desire to succeed at whatever we set out to do. You taught us to persevere in the face of adversity. You taught us the importance of respect for others. You taught us the importance of honoring your parents and honoring your spouse. You taught us how to care for and provide for our children. You taught not only with words, but by example in the life you have lived. Life on the farm is a hard life, but as hard as times were, you two never let on to us that times were tough. You always managed to provide for us no matter what. We never knew the sacrifices you made. You sacrificed with your time, your money, and your love so we could grow up not wanting for anything. You always provided for us and you still do. You provide warm, open and loving arms for us to come home to. Even though "home" is no longer on the farm, YOU are what coming home to is.

Thank you for the sacrifices you made. Thank you for the Christian values you instilled in us. We never questioned why we were going to church. We knew God was number one and we better make him that too. You set the example by making God the center of your marriage. Thank you for making family time important. Thank you for the heritage and for teaching us about your families. We have pictures, stories, recipes, and memories from each that are priceless treasures. We look forward to passing this heritage down to our children and grandchildren.

I thank you for the legacy of love, faith and commitment that has been instilled in each one of us kids and is evident in the strength of our marriages. You taught us well to rely on and thank God always.

And as your story, your legacy of love continues, we thank you ~

Thank you for the sacrifices.
Thank you for the heritage.
Thank you for the legacy.
Thank you for the love.

Happy Golden Anniversary, Mom and Dad! We love you!

Todah

Todah.

Thanksgiving.

Another school year is done and summertime is upon us. The sun is high in the sky. RV's and campers dot the highways on their way to the mountains for summer excursions. Local pools and lakes are teeming with those ready to enjoy some summer time water fun. It may seem a bit premature to be thinking about Thanksgiving. I mean really, it is still roughly 5 months away. It seems that November rolls around and we are all suddenly ready to really focus on the things we are thankful for. But what about during the rest of the year? Are we thankful? Do we pause to even think about all the things we can be thankful for? 

Each and every day, God blesses us. He doesn't have to. We certainly don't deserve his blessing. But he chooses to continually bless us with his love for us; with his mercies; with his grace. I am thankful for a tender, loving God. I am thankful for a God who is wise, just, sovereign and above all else, immutable. He never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and forever! Just the same God every day. What an amazing thing to be thankful for! In spite of my shortcomings and my "human-ness", God continues to love me! He loves you too! 

Toda leCHa elohim 

(Hebrew for thank you God).

The voice of God speaks.

Todah.

On this morning, in the middle of the year, I pause to give thanks for a few things that I am thankful for. I am pleased that in the stillness of the morning, I can hear the voice of God. He whispers through the rustling of the leaves on the trees. He reassures me that HE is in control. That no matter what good and goodness, no matter what trials or troubles come my way, that he has already gone ahead of me. He has it and I am in the palm of his hand. 

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, 

I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

~ Isaiah 41:10

Just as we take care of our children, when we follow God and his ways, he takes care of us. He has a plan for us He will guide us every step and help us navigate the things that come our way. 

"In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose

of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will..." 

~ Ephesians 1:11

In my excitement for this summer that has finally arrived, I anticipate so many wonderful things and I am thankful. I am filled with thanks for the time off from work and for down time to focus on my family and faith. As I pray and write this morning, I am overcome with emotion as I think of the ways God has blessed my life and the lives of my loved ones! I am thankful for the time this summer to focus on the exciting things that lie ahead. 

  ~ We are in the midst of wedding planning! My oldest daughter will be getting married on August 1. I am forever grateful for Katie and the wonderful, christian man she will marry. God truly knew what he was doing when he brought these two together! I look forward to soon having Aaron as my son-in-law and to the celebration of their marriage coming soon!

Photo credit to Photography by Lisa.

   ~ As I write this morning, my daughter Aubrie is somewhere over the Pacific Ocean on her way home from a seven week teaching and mission trip in Indonesia! I am forever grateful for the time abroad she has had to follow God's will for her life and share the love of God around the world. I cannot wait to welcome her home tonight and to hear of God's amazing work.

Princes and Princesses of the one true KING! 

And so summer is here! I am ready to enjoy it. God has provided this time as respite from work and I will use it. I am blessed. Blessed beyond measure. By a God who loves me more than I ever deserve. Thanking Him ever so much on this beautiful June day in the middle of the year! 

Take some time this morning to pause, to think, to pray and to give thanks to God for the wonderful ways he has blessed your life. 

Be blessed.

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!" 

~ Psalm 107:1

Toda leCHa elohim.

Meet with God

My meeting place with God at our mountain prayer retreat.

"My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. Where can I go and meet with God?
 ~ Psalm 42:2"

Where do you meet with God? Do you meet him in the morning? The evening? In the small, quiet places? In the great big outdoor spaces? Where do you meet Him? 

Or, do you meet him? Do you take the time for Him in the hustle and bustle of our busy world? Do you really meet with Him and talk with Him?

The scriptures teach us that God really wants to meet with us. Individually. He longs for us to desire a personal, one on one relationship with Him. He wants us to make time for Him ~ Just like we make time to watch football, go to the movies, use social media, hang out in the gym, or whatever the things are that we do that consume our time. Time that God would LOVE to have us share with Him. He longs for us to come to Him in prayer and petition. Likewise He loves for us to praise Him for the wondrous deeds he performs in our lives. 

" ...in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ~ Philippians 4:6"

He commands us to pray. To Him. The one and only true God. He is a loving God. He is a passionate God. He is passionate about His relationship with us. He desires for us to depend on Him. To trust Him. He simply asks that we become one with Him.

"I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one. ~ John 17:22"

We live in a society that simply wants to be wealthy without earning the wealth. Much the same way, so often we expect that God will bless us without earning the blessing. Even Moses experienced this with the Israelites! In Exodus 19:17, Moses led the people from the camp to meet with God. God wanted the people to experience His presence and power and to know that they could meet with Him. While God was indeed providing for Moses and the people by delivering them out of Egypt, "God's first purpose was to bring them to the mount so that they could get a revelation of Him. Israel feared and stood far off. People want the promise of provision without first meeting God. The emphasis today is not any different. ~Pastor George Belobaba." 

In order to truly experience the blessings and the grace that only God can give, we must make time for Him. We must meet with Him. We must go to Him. God doesn't care "where" or "how" or "when". He simply wants us to make the time. I want to be like David and the other writers of the Psalms. I want to pour out my love and gratitude to my God who gives me life, breath and all that I have. I want to drop to my knees and come before my God in prayer and petition for the things of this life and world that trouble me. I want to be consistent. I want to make the time. I want to be one with God by giving Him the time he commands me to give. 

"I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart;

I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done.

I will be filled with the joy because of you.

I will sing praises to your name, O Most High." 

~ Psalm 9:1-2 

My view last evening while meeting with my God on a sunset worship walk. 

If you are like me, you meet with God all throughout your day with small prayers and praises as you go about your work or play. Those are the easy times. When a thought or person pops in to my head, I pause to speak to God. However, there are those times each day when I just need to sit and be quiet and meet with God. It is usually in the quiet dark or dawn of the early morning where I find it is easy to open up my heart and soul and mind and pour out my thoughts to God. 

My most favorite place to meet Him is on the trail. It is where I find peace. It is where I feel the closest to God. Whether walking, running or hiking, there is nothing like absorbing all of God around you and being able to praise him with all of your heart and soul while the wondrous morsels of his creation penetrate your heart, soul and mind.

It does not matter where we go to meet with God. What does matter is that He wants us to meet. He calls us to meet. He is ALWAYS there waiting for us! Let us meet with Him. 

As I make my way through these 40 days of Lent on the way to a wondrous Celebration of God's gift of his resurrected son, I profess to make more time to meet with my God. To slow down enough to give him the time. To fill my heart and mind with more of Him and his glory. To set aside some of the things of this world and let God lead me to the ways he wants me to spend my time. I am excited to see what God has in store and how He responds to my faithfulness. 

Won't you join me? Let's meet with God! 

Enough

Enough.

I pray that I have done enough.

On this beautiful late August morning, I ponder what exactly is enough. The glorious sun is shining through the trees reaching out to touch me as I breathe in the freshness of the air. I sit on the deck and breathe in the crispness that hints of Autumn around the corner. I enjoy some quiet time; unexpected quiet time as I have been given a time out from work already. Three weeks into the school year and at least one of the 560 students I work with managed to share some sick germs with me. While I am not pleased about the sickness, I am grateful to have some time this morning to rest and wonder if I have truly done enough. 

The last few weeks have been an absolute whirlwind as we moved both of our college daughters home for the summer. A summer that I realized would probably be the last summer that our entire family would be home together. Their coming and going with the school years ends and beginnings would not dictate our family time anymore. Our oldest daughter graduated from college and used her summer to prepare to enter the work force and move into her own apartment four hours from us. The reality that this may be the last time we move our oldest out really hit me! Our other daughter prepared for her summer mission trip to Kenya, her sophomore year and explored whether or not she has chosen the right major. As I spent time with these two special young ladies this summer, I wondered if I had done enough.

Our family had a wonderful (yet fast and furious) summer together. We camped together. We fished together. We prayed together. We worshiped at church together. We spent evenings around the firepit together. We laughed together. We played cards together. We worked together. We loved each other, together. Was it enough?

One would think it would get easier. As they come and go with each school year.  Moving your children out of the house. Sending them off to college. Sending them out in to their own adult lives.

It. Never. Gets. Easier.

Ever.

Each time I leave them, I leave a piece of my heart. The heartstrings tug and the tears flow. I am happy, sad and proud all at the same time. They are mine ... lent to me by God, for this special season of time. Precious gifts that I cherish.

  

Behold, Children are a heritage from the Lord, 

The fruit of the womb, a reward. 

~ Psalm 127:3

And so, August has come and both of my girls are moved out again. My nest is emptier, quieter, sadder. My heart aches to see them each day. I know they are where they are supposed to be right now, just as God has ordained for them. I still wonder, "Have I done enough?"

I look back over the years. Did I love them enough? Did I pray with them enough? Did I encourage them enough? Did I support them enough? Did I listen to them enough? Did I cry with them enough? Did I laugh with them enough? Did I talk with them enough? Did I show them enough?  Did I teach and explore with them enough? Did I hug them enough? Did I enjoy the special moments enough? Did I give them enough? Did I prepare them enough for life? Did I do any of it enough?

Was it all enough? Probably not.

One thing I know for certain is that I loved them enough.

I. Loved. Them.

 I loved them enough to give them the most important piece of  knowledge they need in this life. The knowledge and acceptance of Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. And with this foundation, they shall not fail!

Train up a child in the way he should go; 

even when he is old he will not depart from it. 

~ Proverbs 22:6 

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 

~Deut. 6:6-7

I. Loved. Them.

I. Will. Always. Love. Them.

 A mother's love goes on forever. A mother's heart bursts with pride and excitement at the sound of her child's voice, the touch of their hand, the sight of their face. A mother's love is unconditional. A mother's love never fails. From the moment of conception, that precious life is forever joined to the heart of the mother.

And so, life goes on. I have a sophomore son still at home. I have time to continue trying to do enough to prepare him for adulthood. I pray for God to give me the strength and knowledge to do enough. I will continue to love all of my children enough.

I. Will. Love. Them.

Enough.

**(Special thanks to author and friend, Michelle Nelson-Schmidt for helping me ponder "enough". )

Joy

May Day. O Blessed Beautiful May Morning. How did we arrive here so quickly? It seems that December and Winter's worst just left us.

Sitting on my deck in the warm sunshine. Crisp. Fresh. The scent of springtime in the air. Fresh soil. Greening prairie. Majestic mountains on the horizon.

Birds chirping. A rooster crowing in the distance. Cottontail babies on my lawn.

The stillness is refreshing. Rejuvenating after many consecutive days of tormenting wind have plagued us. This early May morning is a gift as I feel the warmth of the sun penetrate my bones. I soak it in and let it settle. In my heart. In my soul. Into my whole being. It takes hold. I am warmed.

I close my eyes. Breathe in. Breathe out. Peace. Joy. I am filled with joy.  Pure joy. This morning brings me joy. There is nothing like the morning that awakens my senses so sharply. O wonderful May morning, I have waited for you.

In the morning

give us your mercy in full measure,

So that we may have joy

and delight all our days.

  ~ Psalm 90:14

Joy. Joy because I am blessed.  Blessed beyond measure. Blessed.

I find my joy in my God and the gifts he has given me. The intangible gifts.

His sacrifice. His unfailing love. His grace. His mercy. His "faithfulness stretches to the sky." ("Your Love Oh Lord" by Third Day).

Each day we are given is a true gift. A abounding gift. A gift.

A simple gift. A simple pleasure that I stop to ponder. Ponder. Ponder deeply the ultimate gift of  truth that leads to my joy. A gift that means so much and has such a profound and everlasting impact on all of humanity. A gift that all can receive. Receive His gift. Receive life. Experience joy.

A gift that makes me realize I find amazing joy in knowing my God.  Joy that He saves. Joy that He redeems. Joy that He loves. Joy that He lives. Joy that He walks beside me every step of the way. Joy that He delights in me. In me. ME. How amazing is that?

The LORD your God is with you, 

the Mighty Warrior who saves. 

He will take great delight in you;

 in his love he will no longer rebuke you, 

but will rejoice over you with singing."

~ Zephaniah 3:17

He rejoices. Rejoice with Him. Rejoice.

 My heart overflows. With joy. I am  humbled by His gifts and the joy He gives me. I am blessed. Blessed with time, friends, family and the pure love that comes from recognizing these gifts.

Sight. Sound. Touch. Taste. Feel.

Live. Love. Laugh.

 Sing to the LORD a new song;

 sing to the LORD, all the earth.

~ Psalm 96:1

Rejoice. Delight. Sing.

 You make known to me the path of life; 

you will fill me with joy in your presence...

~Psalm 16:11

Experience Joy. Joy that only come from Him. Joy from his gifts. Joy.

Happy May. Happy springtime. Let the blessings pour out from your Joy in all that he has given.

Be joyful.

Be blessed my friends.

Open Trail

I woke up this morning and before my feet had hit the floor, God was speaking to me. His words to me were that he and I need some alone time. REAL alone time. Not me, my bible, my comfy chair and my coffee cup kind of time. Alone time. Solitude. Where He and I could be together and chat. To me, that has to mean leaving the house and getting outside to be with God and God alone. My first thought, as I could hear the gusty, roaring whistle of the wind whipping against my windows, was really? Today? But God, it's windy out there! Like 40mph gusts kind of windy! And cold, too! Any other day, I would jump at the opportunity to enjoy solitude and be outdoors with God. I don't really get along well with the wind. I hate walking, jogging or running in it and really didn't want to venture out in it today. I wanted to stay in, with my coffee and the subtle calm of my nice warm house. A quiet, empty house, I might add.  I argued with God for awhile and with myself. However, God was speaking! So, I decided (with God's insistence) that this was a PERFECT Friday morning to try a new adventure! An open trail. Wind and all! After all, I had been wanting to check out some trails in a different section of our local recreation area, so I packed up my gear and decided that perhaps a nice trail jog would do me good this morning. God ALWAYS knows what is best for me! I wish I listened to Him better! 

"Whoever has ears, let them hear."

 ~ Matthew 13:9

Friday morning solitude. Off to the open trail I headed this morning. To enjoy my solitude. My alone time with God. The trail before me, my physical gifts from God which allow me to run, and God's beauty around me. The rocks of the trail crunched beneath my feet and the jagged cliffs rose above me as I descended on the trail, step by step. Unsure of this trail ahead of me, so like our lives! Unsure of what is around the next corner or down the next step. I allowed him to lead me on this trail and I allowed Him to talk to me. I reveled in his Glory all around me. As I jogged, I looked out and saw the gorgeous lake with it's frothy white caps being whipped up by the February morning wind. Looking up I saw a gorgeous blue Colorado sky. The magnificent Rocky Mountains lined my horizon with purple mountain majesty. How majestic it was this morning ~ even in the wind. God had called me to spend time with Him. Oh, how he knew what I needed today! I felt so alive with Him leading me. He has called me to love Him and let Him lead, just as he calls each one of us specifically!

 

My open trail today that God leadeth me on!

 I often wonder what it is I am so afraid of. Why don't I let God have more control of my heart, my mind, my soul, my life. What am I waiting for? After all, he is my maker, my sustainer. The giver of life. When I let God have control of my life, it is apparent that he knows what he is doing. Life is suddenly more meaningful. More satisfying. More invigorating. God has me. Always! He knows when to challenge me, when to test me, when to cheer me on, when to let me glory, when to stumble and when to let me fall. He is the God of my life and I need not fear anything. 

" So I'm headed down the open road unknown ...
...And we find what we're made of
Through the open door
Is it fear you're afraid of?
What are you waiting for"

~Lyrics from "Love Alone is Worth the Fight" by Switchfoot. 

It is my prayer that I can cast out my fears and insecurities and give glory to God in all that I do, each and every day. It truly is a daily struggle to keep Him foremost in my thoughts and to give him thanks for all things, good and bad. In my daily walk with Him, I struggle. I struggle to give Him complete control of my life. Everyday is a brand new battle. I battle with myself to do the things that please God and the things that I know are right. I am human. We all deal with daily battles, but God has assured us that he is there for us. After all, he sent his son, Jesus to die on the cross for us. The ultimate sacrifice has been made and the price has been paid so that we can live in the Spirit and look forward to eternity in Heaven.

 

"Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit's leading in every part of our lives."

 ~ Galatians 5:25.

The Spirit of God lives in us and longs to flow through us. Not just in our spiritual lives, but in our emotional, social, work, and physical life. Every part of our life is important to God. And significant. He wants us to call on Him and share our life with him. He longs for us to open our heart and let Him in. He longs for us to not only listen to Him, but to listen for Him. He is with us always. Open your heart and open your ears. He is speaking! Listen. Let Him speak. Let Him speak to you. Solitude. You and God.

Blessings to you, my friends on this windy February day.

Carpe Diem

Sieze the day. Grasp life by the hand and live it. Enjoy the moment. Now. Today. Don't let time slip away. Enjoy the here and now. Tomorrow is not promised us.

Our days on earth are like grass; 

like wildflowers, we bloom and die.

The wind blows and we are gone ~

As though we had never been here.  

   ~Psalm 103:15-16

Tis the season of Thanksgiving and thankfulness. I am thankful for this day. The day that I have been given right now. I shall enjoy it. For what it is.

I am thankful for this gorgeous November day that I have opportunity to seize and enjoy. The sun is shimmering in the bright Colorado sky. Wispy, white, feathery cloud tufts spot the beautiful azure.  I sit on my deck in the warming rays with my son. He is home from school this week with whooping cough due to an unfortunate outbreak in his high school. While I am sad that he is ill, I am ever grateful for a day to spend at home with him. We enjoy the fall breeze together and listen to the sounds around us. The crispy, brown and yellow leaves cling to the trees and rustle against the branches. I enjoy his teenage conversation and the sound of his laughter. His deep voice and changing facial characteristics captivate me. Where has my little boy gone? The day he was born is vivid in my mind. I sometimes call his phone just to hear his voicemail message that is yet to be changed. The squeaky little eleven year old voice speaks to me. I laugh. I cry. I am holding on tight to this boy turning into man. He is my youngest and I am not ready for him to grow up. However, he is quickly proving to me that time moves ever so fast. As if I didn't already know it with two daughters off in college.

Our days on this earth are numbered and we often move too fast to really enjoy them; too fast to count our blessings; too fast to take a moment and to enjoy it. To really soak it up by listening, feeling, seeing and experiencing the realm of emotion that we are created to know and experience. Scripture tells us that emotions are real and there is a time for them.

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance;

~ Ecclesiastes 3:4

In the "busy-ness" of life I am trying to slow down and listen to the things that matter. To experience the emotion in all things. To feel what God has created me to feel. To take it all in. To enjoy just today. To enjoy the small things because moments slip away so quickly. They are here and gone with no thought of tomorrow.

Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow.

You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.

~ James 4:14

Today. I enjoy today. I enjoy my son. My time. The sunshine. The fall breeze. Our walk. Our talk. Our deck time. Time together. Tomorrow is of no concern. God has it. He has it handled. 

Enjoy today.

Tomorrow. God. Is. Already. There. 

Carpe Diem.

Autumn Renewal

Sitting here this morning feeling a little melancholy, but blessed. I am missing my two daughters who are off at college. Wishing they were here to share the morning with me. As I sit thinking of the memories, the rich, warm aroma of coffee soothes me and my favorite coffee cup is filled to the brim just inches from my hand. I sit here in the dark and gaze out my back yard window. I watch the early morning sky lighten as the sun comes up. There is no colorful, beaming sunrise this morning, rather the sky is heavy, gray and overcast. The sturdy, old cottonwood tree in my backyard hints of the season we are in. The ever fading green leaves are sprinkled with yellow and gold splashes. I watch individual leaves flutter gracefully to the ground in the still morning air and join the scattering piles that are accumulating beneath the towering tree and those that stand around it. The early morning air breathes of crispness and is filled with a hint of wood smoke and moisture as I watch tiny droplets pelt my window.

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.

~ Albert Camus

Fall. Winter. Fall. Winter. October is in the air. The month that is ever confused about the season. My favorite season of the year. For me, autumn has a freshness to it. A calm, cool, rustic, earthy smell of change. A preparing freshness. Preparing for the blustery winter that lies ahead. A reminding freshness of what is to come. Plants wither, leaves change and fall, and the grass turns to brown. I am reminded of the newness that will come after fall has finished and winter has shared its wrath. The things of nature die and will be renewed.

No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace

As I have seen in one autumnal face.

~ John Donne

 Renewed. Restored. Revived. Reborn. The beauty of autumn is the reminder of the restoration that is yet to come. So very much like the restoration we have in Christ. What an amazing gift we have in Christ and the sacrifice he made for us. In Christ, we have newness of life. When we commit our lives to Christ, we are renewed, restored, revived, reborn and transformed in Him. Each day is a reminder of the newness we have. While we cannot undo what has been done in our past, we are forgiven. Each and every day we can start anew because Christ has paid the price for us. We are reborn and renewed through the living Word of God.

...he saved us, not because of the righteous things we have done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and a new life through the Holy Spirit.

~ Titus 3:5

Renewal. Restoration. Revival. Rebirth. While so many think of autumn as the death of a season. I think of it as a rebirth. A cleansing of what is old being washed away. A preparation for restoration and renewal to take place. A reminder of what the Lord has in store for us. As we enjoy and breathe in the blessings and aromas of this autumn season, I am reminded of the lyrics of one of my favorite Keith Green songs which are taken from Psalm 51. 

"Create in me a clean heart, Oh God

and renew a right spirit within me."

"Restore unto me, the joy of thy salvation

and renew a right spirit within me."

~ "Create in me a Clean Heart, Keith Green"

Renewed. Restored. Revived. Blessed. I am blessed in countless ways. I pray for blessings on all of you my friends as we breathe in the graces of this autumn season.  May you experience renewal, restoration and revival through this season and in our savior, Jesus Christ.