Life is Precious

It's interesting how time flies. I haven't composed for this blog in two and a half months. I have tried, but have been void of words to put down. Many thoughts and feelings have flooded my mind, body and soul over the past few weeks, but I simply could not pull them together. I wanted to write, but days turned into weeks. I didn't really realize why until now. As I opened up my blog, it hit me. The last time I added an entry was on the morning of July 2. I remember sitting on my deck in the early morning hours writing while the sun rose on a beautiful new day. The next day was a day that will be forever in my memory. My mom called to tell me that my grandmother, her mother, had passed away. We knew this day was coming, but knowing doesn't make the pain any less. It didn't make it any easier to close this chapter of my life either. My heart still hurts for the loss we suffered.

I have had a writing dry spell since that day. I have felt many things, thought many things, cried my tears and grieved. Many things have happened in my life since that day. Many things that have caused me to wonder, to think, to question, to ponder my purpose in this life. Some days I wonder which way God is directing me. One thing I know without a doubt is that he is my power and my strength. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." ~ 2 Cor. 12:9.  I have certainly felt loss and weakness over the past few weeks and am gracious for a great God who has sustained me throughout this time. Life is precious. I try hard to enjoy each day fully and to praise the God who allows me to have these days.

One short month ago, I sent my oldest daughter off to college.  Nothing prepares you for that first goodbye when you drop your child off and drive away. Nothing prepares you for seeing that sweet, strong, INDEPENDENT young lady break down and cry with you and hug you like she's never hugged you before. Nothing prepares you for the empty place at the dinner table or the empty bed in her room or the house void of her infectious laughter.

In that same week, we lost some of our best friends (who also happened to be our pastor and wife) to a church in California. We know that God has called them and has a purpose for them. We also know that friendships bridge the miles between us! However, the distance between us in miles has never felt more real than it does right now. My husband and I miss their company, their friendship, their entire family, which was so much a part of ours for the last few years. We long to enjoy dinner, conversation and laughter with them.

This week marked the twenty year anniversary of the loss of our first child. Another day that is etched in my memory. It is so hard to believe that twenty years have passed and while the pain of that loss is still there, God reminds me of the three precious children he has blessed us with. Three unique and beautiful individuals. Each one has captivated me completely with their love. God has given them to me for a time ... to raise, to love, to nurture, to grow, to guide.

God  has been faithful  to sustain me through hardships, struggles, tragedy and loss. "Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me." ~ Psalm 54:4.

 

I must also be quick to remember that he sustains me in the good times too. The times of joy and celebration. He is God of ALL and is worthy of praise! "Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom." ~ Psalm 145:3. God is so good. He provided a time away over this past weekend for me with my husband. We took the opportunity to get away to the majestic mountains to celebrate 22 years of marriage together. What a glorious Fall weekend it was and a gentle reminder of God's presence and place in our marriage. And another subtle reminder of life. Precious life.
 
As I wrap up tonight, I am reminded of many friends who are missing their children. Children who have gone off to college, ready to start a new chapter of their lives. I am thinking of my dear friend L, who is missing her son who joined the Army and is currently enduring basic training. I am praying for families who lost loved ones over the weekend. Lives cut short. In the blink of an eye. In a moment. Lives ended.
 
Life is precious. God is good. He sustains us. He will not fail us. For in this life, He is in control and he gives meaning to our days. He has a purpose for each one of us.
Life is precious. Precious. Enjoy each and every moment of each day.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
~ 2 Cor. 12: 9-10