Thank Full

Thank full. Full of thanks.

There is nothing like the month of November to bring to light the many things I am thankful for in my life. I must admit that I am extremely grateful for the religious history that our country holds ... even when so many deny the very principles our country was founded on!

In 1621, the Wampanoag Indians and the Plymouth colonists (pilgrims) celebrated the first Thanksgiving as an Autumn harvest feast of thanks. The second Thanksgiving celebration was two years later and marked the end of a long drought. Governor Bradford called for a religious fast. Days of fasting and thanksgiving became quite common. During the American Revolution there were often one or more days of thanksgiving celebrated in a year. In 1789, George Washington issued the very first Thanksgiving proclamation. He asked Americans to show their gratitude for the end of the war that declared our nation's independence. Succeeding presidents also declared days of Thanksgiving throughout their presidencies. It wasn't until 1863 that Abraham Lincoln proclaimed that the final Thursday of November each year should be a holiday and that all Americans should ask God to "commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife and heal the wounds of the nation." In 1941, Franklin D. Roosevelt officially signed a bill making Thanksgiving the fourth Thursday of November each year.  While Thanksgiving has religious roots, our American culture has lost that significance and focuses more on the feast of food  that is shared with family and friends right before the insanity of Black Friday hits.

History lesson aside, I choose to reflect on the bountiful blessings I have in my life. God has richly blessed us, through both joy and sorrow and 2012 has brought us both.

March brought us a tremendous trial when George was critically injured in a dirt bike accident. While his injuries were severe and could have been life threatening (unbeknownst to us at the time), God protected him and healed him. We are so fortunate that God has blessed him with a job that allowed him the month off of work to heal and the luxury of returning to light duty at work before going back in full swing. Praise God for his protection over Geo and our family.  Shortly after returning back to work, were also very blessed by George being awarded a new position. This blessing allows George to work regular daytime hours without weekends, holidays or shift work involved! Amen to family time and being able to spend our weekends and worship time together again every week!

The month of May brought us to the graduation of our oldest daughter Katie and her decision to go off to college. While it is difficult as a parent to watch each of my children grow up and leave, I am very, very proud of her.

July brought us the loss of one very special lady this year. The loss of Grandma Ellen is especially felt at this time of year because of all the wonderful memories we have of her. I remember many Thanksgiving weekends spent with Gram (and Grandad too). She was always cooking up her wonderful Thanksgiving dishes for the family. When the cooking was done and the meal complete, the rest of the afternoon and evening were spent playing cards around the kitchen table. Memories ... years gone by and a chapter of our lives has closed. Through it all, God has been faithful to me and my family. He sustains us always.

August bought us face to face with the reality of losing our pastor and his family to a church in California. They were also very special friends!  They are family to our family. Our children have grown up together. We have gone on camping trips together. We have spent many nights around a table playing cards or marbles or just sharing dinner and friendship. After being in our lives for the last 10 years, we feel their absence tremendously, but we know God works out his plans for good! Dave and Anne answered a call. A call from God. They were obedient in answering.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  (Jeremiah 29:11)  

This verse applies to every aspect of our lives! God is in control. I realize that even more with one daughter in college, another daughter in her senior year (and discerning a life of commitment to the Lord through missionary work) and my son in his final year of middle school. Oh, how the years roll by!

I sit here reflecting on this past year and I am ever thankful for the fullness of life I experience through the sustenance I find through  Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior.  I am so thankful for this week and the reminder that it is of so many blessings. I am thankful for the birth of our Savior 2000 years ago. The sacrifice God made in giving up his son. The sacrifice Christ made in giving up his own life. The pain and agony of the crucifixtion that our Lord suffered that makes us realize the magnitude of the GIFT we are given. Thank you Jesus.

I am thankful for the country we live in and the freedom we have. The soldiers past, present and future – those who have fought in wars, died in war, will fight in war all to preserve the freedom that we luxuriously live in. We are blessed to be free because of those who have fought and died preserving that freedom!

I am thankful for sunsets and sunrises – I have witnessed both this week in glorious fashion! God is a most magnficent artist! I am thankful for the mountains that I love to hike and camp in. For the Eastern plains which I grew up on. For the farmers and ranchers around the world who grow the food we are fortunate to have and eat. I am thankful for having grown up on a farm and for having experienced life in a farm family in rural America. My roots run deep! I am thankful for my spiritual heritage and christian upbringing! (Thank you mom and dad!)

I am thankful for my family. For parents who love us and are involved in my children's lives. For my siblings and the children they have raised so my children can grown up with cousins like I did. What a blessing to have family! I am thankful for George. God knew what he was doing when he sent me a Christian man! I am thankful for George leading our family and providing for us and for being a Godly father to our children. I am thankful for each one of my children ~ unique and special in their own ways. I am thankful for their love and devotion to our God and Savior.

I am thankful for my friends! Friends both near and far. Without them, life would not be so fun! I am grateful that they love me for who I am. Who else would I hike with, camp with, laugh with, gather with, shop with, worship with, enjoy life with? (Besides my family!)

I am thankful for Christian friends, church family and the luxury of worshipping our Lord freely. I am thankful for the fellowship, the friendships, the family I have through my brothers and sisters in Christ.

I am thankful for my good health and the health of family and friends. We are blessed when so many are suffering from health problems.

I am thankful for my job where I have opportunity to touch, influence, teach and love on over 500 students a day.  A job … that even when it frustrates me, I am lucky to have when so many are in need of work. 

I am thankful for my home. A roof over my head, food on the table, a family to love, a family to love me back.

My list could run on and on, but the point can be made right here. I am thankful for all that I am and all that I have. God is good.

I am Blessed. Blessed. I am Full ... to the brim of blessings. I am Full. Full of Thanks. 

Thank Full.

Thankful.

May you and your family enjoy a most blessed Thanksgiving holiday together. 

Life is Precious

It's interesting how time flies. I haven't composed for this blog in two and a half months. I have tried, but have been void of words to put down. Many thoughts and feelings have flooded my mind, body and soul over the past few weeks, but I simply could not pull them together. I wanted to write, but days turned into weeks. I didn't really realize why until now. As I opened up my blog, it hit me. The last time I added an entry was on the morning of July 2. I remember sitting on my deck in the early morning hours writing while the sun rose on a beautiful new day. The next day was a day that will be forever in my memory. My mom called to tell me that my grandmother, her mother, had passed away. We knew this day was coming, but knowing doesn't make the pain any less. It didn't make it any easier to close this chapter of my life either. My heart still hurts for the loss we suffered.

I have had a writing dry spell since that day. I have felt many things, thought many things, cried my tears and grieved. Many things have happened in my life since that day. Many things that have caused me to wonder, to think, to question, to ponder my purpose in this life. Some days I wonder which way God is directing me. One thing I know without a doubt is that he is my power and my strength. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." ~ 2 Cor. 12:9.  I have certainly felt loss and weakness over the past few weeks and am gracious for a great God who has sustained me throughout this time. Life is precious. I try hard to enjoy each day fully and to praise the God who allows me to have these days.

One short month ago, I sent my oldest daughter off to college.  Nothing prepares you for that first goodbye when you drop your child off and drive away. Nothing prepares you for seeing that sweet, strong, INDEPENDENT young lady break down and cry with you and hug you like she's never hugged you before. Nothing prepares you for the empty place at the dinner table or the empty bed in her room or the house void of her infectious laughter.

In that same week, we lost some of our best friends (who also happened to be our pastor and wife) to a church in California. We know that God has called them and has a purpose for them. We also know that friendships bridge the miles between us! However, the distance between us in miles has never felt more real than it does right now. My husband and I miss their company, their friendship, their entire family, which was so much a part of ours for the last few years. We long to enjoy dinner, conversation and laughter with them.

This week marked the twenty year anniversary of the loss of our first child. Another day that is etched in my memory. It is so hard to believe that twenty years have passed and while the pain of that loss is still there, God reminds me of the three precious children he has blessed us with. Three unique and beautiful individuals. Each one has captivated me completely with their love. God has given them to me for a time ... to raise, to love, to nurture, to grow, to guide.

God  has been faithful  to sustain me through hardships, struggles, tragedy and loss. "Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me." ~ Psalm 54:4.

 

I must also be quick to remember that he sustains me in the good times too. The times of joy and celebration. He is God of ALL and is worthy of praise! "Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom." ~ Psalm 145:3. God is so good. He provided a time away over this past weekend for me with my husband. We took the opportunity to get away to the majestic mountains to celebrate 22 years of marriage together. What a glorious Fall weekend it was and a gentle reminder of God's presence and place in our marriage. And another subtle reminder of life. Precious life.
 
As I wrap up tonight, I am reminded of many friends who are missing their children. Children who have gone off to college, ready to start a new chapter of their lives. I am thinking of my dear friend L, who is missing her son who joined the Army and is currently enduring basic training. I am praying for families who lost loved ones over the weekend. Lives cut short. In the blink of an eye. In a moment. Lives ended.
 
Life is precious. God is good. He sustains us. He will not fail us. For in this life, He is in control and he gives meaning to our days. He has a purpose for each one of us.
Life is precious. Precious. Enjoy each and every moment of each day.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
~ 2 Cor. 12: 9-10

I Saw God Today

Earth is crammed with heaven, and every common bush afire with God: But only he who sees, takes off his shoes. I absolutely love this excerpt from "Aurora Leigh" by 19th century poet, Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

I started writing this post about a week ago while sitting in the gorgeous Colorado mountains, enjoying my earth crammed with heaven! I was sitting in our little campsite next to a beautiful, bubbling creek, listening to the sound of water rushing over rocks and happy red breasted robins chirping out their songs of joy. The gentle sound of the breeze whispering through the pines and aspens soothed my soul as the morning sun glimmered little specks of glittery light on to the rippling water. My solitude was only briefly interrupted by a hyper black squirrel who flitted into my space to quickly say hello before enthusiastically hopping on to the next site! I saw God! It was a glorious dawning of a day as I sat there and looked all around and opened up my senses to take it all in. The sights, the sounds, the smells of nature all around most definitely are the handiwork of God. The handiwork proof that earth is crammed full of heaven if only we take off our shoes and experience it! We only need to open up our arms to God and accept it all.

You alone are the LORD. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you. ~ Nehemiah 9:6

 I saw God today. I saw God in ways I don't often stop to appreciate. He is everywhere if we only stop to see and acknowledge his being, his creation, his handiwork, his fingerprints on every tiny detail of life all around us. He is God and he is good. Blessed assurance that he is in control of my life, our lives, our world.

I truly needed God to speak to me on this trip and remind me of life's simple important things. I was struggling with being on this camping trip; our first trip ever minus one family member. Our oldest daughter, Katie, recently graduated, had to stay behind to uphold the responsibilities of her job. It simply felt strange to leave her and to be enjoying ourselves on a family trip without her. I worried about her being home by herself for four days. I wanted to be in control of everything and make everything work out the way I wanted it, but that isn't the way life works. After all, she is technically an adult now and this is a point in life that we have been working towards. This is the point at which my mom hands have to let go and let God. We have been raising this child up for the last 18 years. It is time for her to fly on her own and this perhaps was one of those tests, not for her, but for me. Those ties that bind child to mother have to be untied .... at least a little for her to grow and probably more importantly for me to grow and let her be who God has created her to be. This was a reality for me on this trip. And in this trip I saw God.

While on this trip we also got word that just over the mountains, 40 miles from our hometown, a horrendous forest fire had broken out. Fellow campers in our campground were notified that their neighborhoods were being evacuated. My heart broke for them. For the many who would flee their homes in the coming days, not knowing if they would have homes to return to. As this has all played out over the past week, many (over 350) families have lost their homes and approximately 17,000 acres of mountain land in and around the Colorado Springs area have burned so far. Two people have lost their life. God is in control. Even in this seeming nightmare, I see God. He is at work in ways that we have yet to identify.

I saw God today. I felt him. I heard him. I saw him. I smelled and tasted his goodness in all that was evident around me. I was at peace with him being in control and assuring me "I've got this one!" Just like he has them all, if I let him!

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. ~ Romans 1:20

My friends sometimes call me a "fun mom". I heard that again this weekend after I shared with them that I was sleeping under the stars with my younger daughter. We didn't have to go to the mountains or go camping to do that, we simply rolled out our sleeping bags on the back deck and slept under the stars and the gorgeously bright moon. We enjoyed God's creation on a mild and fresh summer night. I laugh because I don't see myself as a fun mom. I simply see it that I like to enjoy life. I see God because I like to take off my shoes and enjoy! I like to enjoy nature and being outdoors and doing fun things. With my kids. With my husband. With my family. With my friends. I like to see and enjoy what God has created.

                                                      Under the stars with my Aubrie!

Tomorrow is not promised us! Take off your shoes. Enjoy today. Look for God. Experience him with all of your senses. The writer of Ecclesiastes says, Don't let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. (12:1) Enjoy life. Experience life. Give credit where it is due! Praise God and worship him for all he has created for you and for me! Earth is crammed with heaven. Go experience it!

Sunset ~ Sunrise

The sun sets on another day. A beautiful June day marked with beauty and love. Love born of two joined as one in marriage beginning a lifetime together.

I had the privilege of being part of a very special day that began with helping a dear friend decorate the reception ball room for her youngest daughter's wedding reception. The beautiful young lady getting married, like so many, has endured lifes ups and downs as they were dealt to her.  However, Lauren's "downs" over the past year have included a battle. A winning battle. Against thyroid cancer.

God blessed Lauren with a loving, caring family; a fiance who stood by her side through the battle; friends who prayed and supported her; doctors and medical personnel who treated her illness with confidence and optimism. God also blessed Lauren with a vision of her future. A vision of her wedding day and the beginning of a special life with Eli.

The wedding was picture perfect as Lauren and Eli stood together, siblings and close friends at their side, parents behind and in support of them. A church packed to the brim with friends and family and an abundance of love for this young couple embarking on the adventures that life will give them.  If anyone deserved this magnificent day, it is Lauren.

A recent sermon from Ecclesiastes 9:1-12 by our pastor encouraged us to party and live it up. Live life with vigor and excitement and enjoy the fruits of what God has given us for he has already approved it. We are called to celebrate the blessings in life. So, with friends we celebrated Lauren and Eli's joining as man and wife. We ate, we laughed, we danced, we raised our glasses in a toast to a new beginning. What an honor it was to be part of such a blessed and special day.

As I watch the sunrise this morning from my deck, I think of Eli and Lauren waking up together today, ready to embark on their journey of life together. I think back on the beginnings of my own marriage to George and how very blessed I am. God has blessed us with much in our almost 22 years together. He has blessed us with far more than either of us ever deserve! I cherish the gifts he has given us. Our children, our memories and even the ups and downs, the good times and the bad ... all that has graced our life together and made us stronger and wiser... together. Blessed.

Yesterday was a day of new beginnings for Lauren and Eli. Thank you Lauren and Eli for letting us being a part of it! My prayer for you is that God will be the center of your love and that he will guide your hearts and your life together. And in the words of an old English blessing, "May your joys be as bright as the morning, your years of happiness as numerous as the stars in the heavens, and your troubles but shadows that fade in the sunlight of love."

<3

Satisfied

Serenity. Peace. Love. Togetherness. Family. Time. Nature. Sun. Moon. Stars. Life. Stillness. Beauty. Laughter. Blue skies. Gentle breezes. Warm sunshine. The setting sun. The rising moon.

Gifts. Blessings. Treasures.

I seek you God earnestly. For your words.  The treasures you provide to me in scriptures and in life. Gifts. Blessings. Treasures.

Gifts. Blessings. Treasures. I am truly grateful for them all tonight. God is good. My heart is calm and my soul satisfied. I am blessed beyond measure by these wonderful gifts. They fill me to the brim with happiness.

I have had the genuine opportunity to spend my day immersed in the needs of my family. They are the loves of my life. I am often overwhelmed with the needs, but today, God gave me peace in serving. Serving Him. Serving my family. Serving my family for Him.  It brought me great happiness. To Him I give the glory for all. To Him I give thanks for all.

Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. ~ Ps. 63:3

My early Friday was spent like most early Fridays. Cleaning up the messes that have been left over the past week. Doing the laundry, tidying up the house, tending to household chores.  Cleaning up our house for the ones I love. In the midst of my cleaning, I was frequently called to the garage to "inspect" the progress of the go-kart rebuild in progress by thirteen year old son and his supervisor, my husband! His excitement was uncontained and contagious.

In the midst of this glorious day, my sweet seventeen year old began texting me from the tennis courts. Her request involved our family heading to the lake to enjoy the water, the warm temps, the glorious evening and some family time together. We decided it sounded like a great idea!

I spent the middle chunk of my day working side by side with my oldest daughter as we finished stuffing and addressing the envelopes that hold her high school graduation announcements. Whew! This mom is still having trouble accepting that her firstborn is about to embark on a new journey of life on her own. We finished up and off to the post office I went to mail off this final stack of envelopes!

My trip back home found me at the local Walmart store that I love to hate and affectionately call Wal-Hell! Where else can you find everything you need and hate the whole experience?? I managed to secure all items on my shopping list ... and then some! I hustled home to put away the groceries with the help of my daughters, while simultaneously packing a cooler so we could all head to the lake for an evening of family time.

Lake time with my family is one of our favorite things to do! Camping, fishing, hiking, or just a quick evening to play by the water, enjoy a campfire and laugh together brings joy to my soul. It brings serenity. It brings me peace and fills me up like the word of God.

I feels these moments with us all together slipping away from me though. My soon to be graduate plans to move about 3 hours away. That will happen in less than a month. My heart aches as I think of our family times that will change without her always here. Perhaps that is why nights like tonight settle so deeply in my soul and fill me up with gladness. I praise the God above for the gifts of my children. For the gift of the time he has given me with them; to raise them, nurture them, grow them and teach them to fly. I sing praises to Him because he is God. He is good. He has blessed me.

Thank you God for an evening with my loves ... all together ... all of us ... enjoying your gifts. Your love is amazing and you continually bring me gifts. You calm my heart and fill my soul. I will ever praise your name. And tonight, I will rest well.

My soul will be satisfied .... and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips. ~ Ps. 63:5

Rumblings of Joy

I love the rumblings of a spring storm. I especially like the rumbling that commences in a continuous rolling thunder that lingers and rattles the windows of my home. I love the sound and smell of the rain that falls and the lightning that radically illuminates the sky. I appreciate the freshness in the air that ensues ~ thanks to the storm. For some, storms are unnerving. For me, they can be relaxing.

The rumblings of the storm comfort me. They bring me joy! They remind me of the mightiness of a God who loves me and cares for me. The rumblings remind me that our great God is in control. They remind me that God is with me ... All the time! The rumblings of this most recent storm, while I lay in my bed last night, are God's awesome confirmation that spring is here. Our wondrous God has brought much needed moisture to our parched and dry land. He is faithful in the face of doubt, he again has delivered what we have prayed for.

I delighted in the rumblings as I lay in my bed. I reveled in the beauty of the sounds around me. The clap of thunder, the pitter patter of water on my window, the tap tap of tiny hail on my roof, the drip drip dropping of water off of my roof, the gentle wind breezing against the exterior walls of my home. I delighted in the flashes of lightning that lit up the sky and my room. I melted at the sound of my 13 year old son's voice at my door as he needed reassurance that we were not being whisked away by some violent tornado as those in neighboring southern states were experiencing last eve.

Joy in the midst of a storm. A "real" storm ... not a life storm. I love a thunderstorm and I love to dance in the rain! God's greatness through a real storm reminds me of God's greatness in the storms of life. God is big! He is bigger than all of our life storms. He is a God of wonder. I love when his thunderstorms remind me that he is big. Big enough.  Big enough to handle all of my troubles and my cares. Big enough so I don't have to be in control. Sometimes it takes a thunderstorm of giant proportions to remind me that He is God!

Through it all I praise Him. I praise him for the thunderstorms and I praise him for the storms ... the storms of life that grow me; the storms of life that make me stronger.

"And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm"
   ~ Casting Crowns, "Praise You in this Storm"

No matter what the storm ... God always leaves us with a rainbow and plenty to praise Him for!

Journey of the Soul

Lord of all the earth, I'll shout your name, shout your name. Filling up the sky with endless praise, endless praise. Yahweh! Yahweh! I love to shout your name O Lord! (Credit to Tim Hughes, "At Your Name").

I have taken a few journeys in my lifetime. Journeys of different kinds. Some with family. Some with friends. Some consisting of a few days. Others perhaps only a few hours. Some journeys are filled with laughter. Some are filled with tears. Some with both. Each journey has a specific purpose ~ maybe it is a vacation, a weekend getaway, a simple trail hike, a soul searching walk, or who knows.... As we all know, journeys can be those of the heart, of the soul, of the psyche, of our endurance, of our courage. They can be journeys of strength and testing. Regardless of the purpose, I have come away from each journey with something learned or something gained. Strengthened in body, mind and spirit.

While all of the journeys of my life are memorable, there are those that stand out as soul searching journeys. These are the journeys that stretch me and test me. They bring me closer to my God and teach me to cry out to him. To exhibit courage and reliance on him. To place my faith in him and to trust him and to believe not only in his ability to carry me through, but in my own ability to succeed and endure. God's grace is enough for me. His mercy endures forever. He will never leave me hanging. That is why I so enjoy the journeys of my life that allow me to test my endurance and my reliance on him.

Let's say I am something of an adrenaline junkie...as it pertains to hiking. I don't really like doing things that are scary, but I do enjoy adventures that test me physically and through that physical testing, they test my mental strength and the level of my faith. These adventures involve mountains and trails and hiking and soul searching. You see, there is nothing like a good hike to test my soul. For starters, who can deny God's presence and the feeling (and filling) of the Holy Spirit when one is in the great outdoors? The nature, the beauty, the creation that God has gifted to us to enjoy. What a blessing it truly is. His fingerprints are all over it. Lord of all the earth I shout your name!  The Lord reigns, let the earth rejoice ~ Psalm 97:1

My faith and endurance have been tested on the great Pikes Peak Barr Trail over the course of 13 plus miles and an ascent of 7,000 feet to over 14,000 feet in fog, drizzle, wind and snow; on the climb of 14,000 foot Mount Sherman in extreme and truly "Colorado" conditions ranging from sunshine to wintery, windy, blustery cold conditions at the top; or the trail to Lake of the Clouds as it ascended over uneven, rocky terrain at high altitude to the beautiful reward of clear, cool, pristine lakes surrounded by glorious green; or St. Mary's Falls Trail that seemed it would never end as we climbed and climbed in search of the beautiful waterfalls; or perhaps the favorite Red Canyon trail that somehow trapped us with a thunderstorm ~ how frightening yet exhilarating it was and how therapeutic was the laughter from that day; or perhaps a climb of the infamous Manitou Incline and the absolute mind over matter that it takes to reach the top in the 1 mile and 2000 vertical feet ascent and how amazing it is that I have gone back not twice, but a third time to endure it. Perhaps it's the challenge that keeps me coming back to these trails and endurance tests, perhaps it's the camaraderie and encouragement of the friends along side, definitely it is the growth I experience in faith and in my calling out my God as I find my way. It is a journey of the soul ~ a searching of who I am.

My most recent trip to the Incline had me more anxious than I have ever been in approaching it. I cannot say why I was so unsettled by the thought of climbing it, but more than ever I had to rely on my faith and on the encouragement of my companion that day. Once reaching the base of the Incline, my jitters waned and I was ready with adrenaline pumping. I looked up. Looked at the Incline, looked at the summit, looked at Pikes Peak, looked at the clouds, looked beyond the clouds and set my sights on God and fnishing this journey strong. We started our step climbing which seemed easy at first. Conversation flowed as we trekked along. It didn't take long for my breath to become labored as the altitude started to increase and steps became steeper. As we climbed, my confidence faded, my legs became fatigued and my oxygen compromised. I had to stop more frequently as we climbed higher. I started to doubt my ability. As I stopped to catch my breath, I uttered prayers for my companion that day, that she would be encouraged and press onward to the top. I prayed for other hikers on the trail. For their safety, for their endurance as they gasped to catch their breath. One particular gentleman concerned me, but he too pressed on. This journey of strength is not an easy one for this soul. I continued on and as I did, I continued to call upon my God. I freely prayed to him ... step after grueling step. I also uttered the words of the Lord's Prayer as I climbed. One word for each step I took. Slow and steady. Slow and steady. Stopping every 100 or so steps to glance at my companion, check on her, encourage her, and continue on. Continuing on in my journey of the soul. Looking upward to my God. Searching .... ever searching for the strength I needed to complete the journey.

Together, we completed this journey on this recent March day, my companion and me. We finished the race. We finished it strong. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith  ~ 2 Tim. 4:7  As we reached the summit, I praised my God. I praised him for the strength I had to complete the journey to the top. And at the top we reveled in his glory. I gave him the glory for me completing the task I set out to accomplish. For he is good and is worthy of all of my praise. So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. ~ 1 Cor. 10:31  

This journey, like all of the others before, was truly rewarding at it's summit and at it's end. For at the summit and all along the way, creation sang it's story. In the sky, in the trees, in the clouds, in the rising sun, in the story of creation all around us. The story of all that is good and great and created by God for our enjoyment, for our recognition, for our praise. How can one not praise the mountains and skies, the beauty all around.

My life is a journey. It is a journey of the soul ~ a searching of who I am. I am a child of God. Dependent upon God and upon my savior Jesus Christ to carry me through the good times and the bad. To him I give the glory for all. I proclaim his goodness, his greatness, his righteousness. He is the God of all. I love to shout your name O Lord!

The heavens proclaim his righteousness, and all the people see his glory. ~ Psalm 97:6 

To you all, I wish you a journey ~ a journey of the soul.

The Storms of Life

Life brings sunshine and happiness. Life brings laughter and joy. Life brings pleasure, fun and rewards. Life brings meaning to our days in more ways than we can comprehend. Life can be amazingly complete as we revel in all that we have and all that God has blessed us with. We rise each day and go through the motions . At times everything just seems to simply exist, perfectly. Day in and day out life moves on. It rolls like clock work and we fail to give it another thought. We fall in to the routine of normalcy. Life is good and life is blessed.


And then the wicked ugly clouds roll in. Darkness overtakes us. The storm commences. Thunder cracks and lightning strikes. Hail pounds against us. Raging winds threaten to destroy us. Drenching rains threaten to wash away whatever security, comfort and consistency in life we have.

For my family, we have had a nice long run of normalcy. We have been blessed with normalcy for quite some time. It has been on the busy and chaotic side of normalcy, but we have been happy, content and healthy.

Five days ago, that changed. Our pastor's sermons from Ecclesiastes suddenly seemed to take on more meaning .....

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1

....Last Sunday was a beautiful, warm, springlike day in early March. My husband and my son were itching to ride their dirtbikes over the trails of the local motorcross park. Nothing like the smell of bike exhaust, motor oil and dirt on a spring day to make them feel manly, free and in charge! We had family in town to visit, but I encouraged my boys to go enjoy a couple hours of "play" time on the trails anyway.

The trails they rode soon led to what would be a trial in our life. A trail they had traveled before wasn't quite so kind to my husband that afternoon. He took a nasty spill into a ravine and required assistance from my son and a good samaritan to make it back to the truck. After a painful and grueling 6 mile trip, my husband and son made it home. My husband was obviously injured and in pain, but at that time we did not realize the seriousness of it. His "manly" resistance to medical care lasted just under two hours until we convinced him that a trip to the ER was absolutely necessary.

Nine hours of sitting in the ER while my husband underwent scores of x-rays, scans and tests made me realize we were in the midst of a storm. One of those storms that comes and upsets the normalcy of life. When storms hit in your life, where do you run to? Where do you seek refuge? Where is your cover?

I was fearful. I was anxious. These tests on my husband were frightening. I ran to where I knew I would find comfort. I ran to my God! I ran to the one who is a mighty fortress. I fell at the feet of the One who protects me when storms threaten to destory me.

...The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. ~ Deuteronomy 33:27 ...

... You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Psalm 32:7-8 ...

My God delivered me from my fears. He comforted me with his words. He revealed goodness to me. Scriptures filled my mind. Songs of praise rolled through my mind because after all, God is good. He is good all the time. Even in the storms of life.

You see, I had to praise him during this time, because after all, my husband was still alive. The Lord delivered me from my fears and reassured me that all would be fine. That no matter what the outcome was, he would carry us through it.

... I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.  ~ Psalm 34:4 ...

While the time passed in the ER and we waited for test results, we learned that my husband was broken. Physically broken. On his right side ... Dislocated shoulder. Shattered shoulder. Chipped shoulder joint. Fractured upper rib cage on both sides. Ribs separated from sternum. Bruised lung and small pneumothorax with the threat of a lung collapsing. Broken left hand. He was physically broken and bruised. And I think he ego was bruised too. But sing praises to God. He was alive. He was conscious. He was not paralyzed. God had delivered him.  

After nine long hours, he was finally transported by ambulance to a local hospital where he would spend the next couple of days to begin his recovery and be observed for more severe injuries that could be "hiding". It was a long couple of days. But it was filled with many prayers and searching by me for why and where does this lead us. I don't have any clear answers to that yet, but I do know that God will reveal it to me in His time.

This season of our lives has a purpose. For whatever reason this trial has entered our lives, it has been pre-ordained by God. Storms happen in our lives.

God has ordained a time for everything. And he loves us through it all. ~ I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.  ~ Jeremiah 31:3

No one is immune from the storms .. or the trials that we all must encounter as we travel through this life. These trials help us grow ... not only in faith, but in knowledge and wisdom. For whatever God hopes to show us through this season, I am ready. I am ready to grow, to learn, to love, to be thankful for the blessings and normalcy, for the hurt and pain, for the total package. The total package is what living life is all about.

Simple Things

 The simple things in life are the things I love to appreciate. I often forget how precious those simple things can be. My life often gets messed up and marred by the complicated and busy life I live. It's not that it is complicated in itself, but that I make it complicated by being so busy! I pray daily that God will help me to be more focused on him and to uncomplicate my life and my mind. I ask him to renew my mind and spirit so that I can focus on the simple things in life. The things that matter ... to Him, to my family, to me.

I am fortunate to work in a school district with a 4 day school week. When Thursday rolls around, I can hardly wait to get home to my family and my weekend. Sadly, when that weekend gets here though I am still so busy that I rarely take the time to "enjoy" it. My time is littered with obligations and not necessarily bad ones, but the fact is, they all take my time. It seems sad to me that I often feel like the only time I can really appreciate the simple things in life is when I "get away" from life. For me, getting away can mean a trip back home, a camping trip in the mountains, a glorious mountain hike, a simple hike at the lake or a once every seven years trip to a West coast beach. My appreciation for the simple things .... and perhaps better stated as the finer things in my life is usually most evident to me in these times when I am away. This is because I am "away".

My away times give me time to reflect on life and it's goodness and the little things that bring me joy. The laughter of my children, the puffy clouds in the bright, blue winter sky, the smell of springtime in the air, a ripe tomato in my garden, a baby bunny on my lawn, the changing seasons, watching quiet deer in a grassy field, the touch of my husband's hand on mine, the sound of my mom's voice on the phone, the jovial twinkle in my dad's eyes, time to pray, a cup of coffee with a friend, a hug, a secret shared, a calm summer evening, gentle conversations around a campfire, a snow-covered trail hike and this list could go on. Forever. It could go on. Importantly, these things do not cost me a single cent, but to ignore these things robs me of contentment, joy and comfort. I do not need the material things of this world to make me happy.

Tonight is the first night of my "weekend" even though it is Thursday evening. From the moment I left my school building this afternoon, I have been busy. A parent meeting at my daughter's high school, making dinner and clean-up, then phone calls to fill a schedule with volunteers for activities on Saturday at my church. My "busy"ness has made me crazy and stressed and searching for a moment of peace. As my evening is winding down, I have found myself kicked back in my chair trying to "de-program" myself from the constant flutter of activity, while still shuffling papers and making phone calls. My hubby and son headed to bed and my girls (teenaged, almost out of the house girls, sniffle, sniffle) decided they would go to a late night movie with some friends.

My girls were only gone from the house about five minutes when I receive a text from my youngest daughter. My heart of course sinks, thinking "Oh no! What happened?" I open the text to reveal something to me that is peace capturing! It reads, "Hey ma, the stars are beautiful tonight!" Wow! Do you know what that does to my heart? To my inner well-being? My quick response was, "Well that's because God made them." My sweet girl's response, "Haha, well duh ma, but they look like mountain stars."

MOUNTAIN STARS! So simple and I love it because that simple description took me right to a mountain top, looking at stars with my girl. I closed my eyes and I could see the stars. Then I walked outside and looked at those beautiful mountain stars. So crisp, so clear, so beautiful, so God-infused that I could not help but grin from ear to ear. I love that she wanted to share with me. A simple observation, a simple feeling, a simple appreciation she had. Simple things! Oh but to take the time to observe the simple things! I have found my peace tonight .... my happy place. I didn't have to go "away" to find it. I only had to be still and listen to the heart and the voice of teenage girl who loves her God and all that he has created as much as I do. Right now I feel renewed in spirit and in mind. I am at peace and it feels perfect.

Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect. ~ Romans 12:2

Direction

I am a mother of two teenage daughters and a very soon to be teenage son. Our conversations no longer dwell on the new Disney movie releases, the latest action figure toys or new Barbie dolls. Our conversations instead have turned to more grown-up topics and things like what they want to do with their lives or how do they know if they are going the right direction in life. How do they know if they are making the right choice when looking at a college and what about a major and what if they change their mind after they get there? Should they go to college out of town or stay close to home? What if they make the wrong choice?

These are the kind of questions that currently plague my senior daughter, Katie, who will be graduating 105 days from now. (She could quickly give me the hours, minutes and seconds too if I asked!) However unsure she may be about her actual direction in life, she seems to know without a doubt that she is leaving town and heading north to the college of her choice.

This mom hurts a bit when the reality of it all sinks in. The thought of Katie leaving home and wanting so desperately to escape the life we have here with her. She is ready to live her own independent life. Yes, this hurts. You see, this is my baby girl, my first born daughter whose due date of September 15 was exactly, to the date, the exact date that I lost our first baby 16 weeks in to my pregnancy. God has a way of turning anguish to joy. John 16:20 says “Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.” Yes, we lost a baby, but in losing that baby, God gave us Katie, then Aubrie and Jordan.

I suddenly feel like I am now losing my Katie to the big scary world, I realize that God has pre-ordained this step in her life. He has been growing her since the day of her conception. He has been preparing her for the direction she must take in her life. In preparing her, God entrusted her to us. Our job has been to parent her, raise her, teach her, direct her, guide her, nurture her and love her as we have each one of our children. Most importantly we have brought her up to love the Lord and seek His will in her life. I am confident that He will direct her path and fill her with peace as she realizes His will for her. Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not upon your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path.”

While I face the grief of losing my daughter to a college to the north, it really isn’t a loss, but an opportunity for growth and for joy to be born through this new experience in her life. In seeking out new experiences in their lives, I pray that my children will always seek His will. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” May their direction be God’s direction.

Joy to You

"Chairein". Put simply, Greek for "joy to you".

What brings YOU joy?

Is it worldy possessions? Is it material goods? Is it recognition of greatness? Is it exercise and physical gains? Is it financial gain? Is it keeping up with or better yet, being ahead of the "Joneses"? Is it having the best of the best of the best and always being the best?

What brings ME joy? I have given this question some thought over the last couple of days after being introduced to "chairein", pronounced ky-rain, in the book of James. I can think of many things that bring me joy. Nothing material brings me more joy than a brand new pair of trail hiking shoes because hiking and climbing mountains brings me lots of joy! My family brings me great joy ~ their love, their smiles, their hugs, their time, their accomplishments. My friends bring me joy. Money brings me joy or at least I think it does and yes I love nice things, who doesn't? I could compose a nice long list of the things that bring me joy, but what I have been reminded of through my recent ponderings and bible reading is that we should seek first the joy that Christ gives us. There is nothing wrong with finding joy in things like I have noted above as long as our focus is right.

Phillipians 4:4 says, "Always be full of joy in the Lord. Again I say rejoice." Amazingly, these were the words of Paul while he was imprisoned for his beliefs and teachings that Jesus is the Son of God. Paul spent roughly 5 years of his life in a prison cell for his beliefs, but in the midst of it he maintained a right attitude. His true joy came from knowing Jesus Christ and he knew that even if death came to him, he could still rejoice because he had the Lord! Paul was a great encourager and taught that we should always seek joy even through our troubles and trials. Our true joy should abound from Christ living in us. In accepting Christ, we accept the joy he brings. In seeking joy in him first, joy in all areas of our life will fall into place.

What an amazing gift we have in knowing the Lord Jesus Christ! While we may encounter hardship and sadness, troubles and trials, let us not forget that our Jesus is ever by our side. Though our circumstances my be troubling and we may seem defeated, we must remember that when we place our trust and hope in the the Lord, he will bring us through the tough times and show us the joy that only he can give.

I love Psalm16 ~ especially verse 9 ~ "No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice*. My body rests in safety." *Rejoice in the Greek version states "and my tongue shouts his praises." Don't you just love how joy makes you want to shout his praises? When my heart is glad and full of joy, I can rejoice and I feel safe in him. God is so good and I am happy that I can find joy in him. I love also that I can simply open up his scriptures and find joy and reason to praise him on every page. He is a God of love, mercy, grace, goodness and joy.

One of my greatest joys is knowing that my children know their Lord and Savior. I have not had prouder days than when they each accepted the Lord and the single day, four years ago, that they professed their faith, together, before the church through water baptism. It is my prayer that each of them will find true joy and find it first through seeking the joy of Christ. I thank God this week also for the simple reminders of joy in my life and where I must work on seeking joy first!

I pray for each of you today ~ That you experience the abounding, unbridled joy of living the Christian faith and experience knowing the Lord fully. Live your faith, live your joy, show your joy and by it, others will experience it too. Love and blessings to you all.

Thankful

Thankful! What more can be said but I am thankful. Thankful that God has made me who I am.

~ But by the grace of God, I am who I am .... 1 Cor. 15:10

Thankful for the tender hand of a loving God. Thankful for bountiful blessings that flow from the tender hand of a God who gives me way more than I ever deserve. Thankful for the comforting hand of a Father who takes away my pain, my worries and my stress. Thankful for the Father who gives me do-overs with the rising of the sun each morning. Thankful that He has given me a family to love and care for ... his family. Thankful for the energy, the courage, the love that He gives me to care for them each day. Thankful that he has given me a family that shows me gratitude and love in return. Thankful that he has allowed me to be a mom to three beautiful children on this earth while he is caring for my oldest in heaven. Thankful for a Godly husband who cares for me and our children and sacrifices for us daily. Thankful for the gifts of sight, sound, touch, taste and smell that allow me to experience the world He has created to the fullest. Thankful that I live in a country where I am free to worship my God and profess my belief without fear of imprisonment and free to pray openly for those who are persecuted around the world. Thankful for the trials in my life that make me stronger. Thankful for joy, sadness, grief, worry, love, .... Each is truly a gift and makes me who I am.

Every good and perfect gift is from above ... ~ James 1:17

I. A.M. T.H.A.N.K.F.U.L.

Made to Worship

I was made to worship ~ made to worship him with all my heart, mind and soul ~ made to worship his goodness and grace. We often talk about worship, but really what does it mean to worship a God so great and awesome?

Oswald Chambers wrote, "The one thing for which we are all being disciplined is to know that God is real. Nothing is more important. Nothing is more rewarding than discovering that God is everything he said he is: all-powerful, sovereign, yet tender and compassionate, accepting of us in our fragile state, and desiring with all his heart to bring us to rest in him." When we know that God is real it is easy to worship him. How can one not worship a God who is as real as the rising sun, the majestic mountains, the brilliant full moon, a sweet summer rain, a precious newborn baby or birds chirping in the trees. God has made everything beautiful and wonderful and he gives us so many reasons to be thankful and to worship him.

Worship is a call to sacrifice. A call to sacrifice "self" and drop to our knees to give praise to him. To put all things great and small before him. To take the focus off of us and our wants and needs and to simply praise him for his greatness and wonder and the blessings he bestows upon on us. Worship engages us deeply and connects us with our holy Father like nothing else can. I find it easiest to worship my Father in the majestic wonder he has created. For me there is nothing like the feeling I get when I am on a mountain top, a trail or somewhere in the great outdoors. The beauty of His creation all around me gives me a sense of utter closeness to God. Maybe it is because I find it easier to put him first without all of the jumbled clutter of life I find when I am home. The "busy"-ness of life and all that it brings can get in the way and quickly make "me" seem more important than the worship that should take place.

On a lighter note, I chuckle as I write. I had the opportunity to spend one on one time with my son this evening. He was feeling a little under the weather and wanted to hang out with his mom. :) After watching a sci-fi movie together, he requested that we read the bible. Since I am currently going through a study of James, I suggested we do today's lesson together. I love the mind of my soon to be teenage boy. He always makes me laugh ~ even in the midst of a bible lesson. As we were discussing Jesus being perfect and the kind of relationship he had with his mother and brothers, my son remarked about the "worship" of our savior. How crazy odd it would seem for a mother (Mary) to worship her son, Jesus. While chatting about this he quickly noted though that I could worship him if I wanted to. Silly boy ... such a boy!

It is the sweet spirit of that same boy that often reminds me of the importance of God and the worship that must take place for me to have a right and intimate relationship with the one who made me. As I tucked my son into bed, I gave praise to God for the blessing of this sweet boy, two precious daughters and a loving husband. These gifts of mine are more than enough reason for me to worship my heavenly Father and sing praises to his name.

Fullness of Grace

God's grace is born out of our unworthiness. Grace, like mercy and love are rooted in the goodness of God and his awesomeness. In Romans 5:20, Paul tells us that God's grace abounds. It is abundant and multiplied wherever sin increases. He tells us that God's grace is ever sufficient for us. It covers a multitude of sins. Thank God for his grace! Without it, I'm not sure I would make it through a single day.

God blesses us with grace! Grace is like water ~ Without it, we would die. Do we deserve God's grace? Surely not. We depend on God for all that sustains us because we are nothing without him and his provision for us is great both physically and spiritually.

I depend on God's grace to get me through the whirlwind of activity and emotion that plague me as each day dawns anew. Today was a great day. Not all days are as such. But today I can boast of God's blessings that make me a mama very proud! My oldest daughter received her acceptance letter from the university of her choice. She is ecstatic and very excited to embark on her new "grown-up" adventures. She will achieve great things, I just know it! My second daughter ~ my OCD daughter, after much planning and stress did a fabulous job of coaching her Kindergarten cheerleaders through their very first Upward Basketball Game. Those little girls love her and she is a wonderful role model for them especially spiritually! My son, just about to become a teenager, took up wrestling this year for his middle school. With three losses under his belt, my rookie wrestler achieved his first win of the season today with a pin! Anxious to keep his church commitment, we traveled quickly from the wrestling match to church where he was quick to jump into the "Leo Lion" mascot uniform and dance with the cheerleaders and cheer on the young basketball players. How can a mom not be proud? But this mom ever depends on God!

I wrestle daily with shortcomings and failures as a mom. As I write this blog I feel guilty for not spending time with them instead of writing. Have I done enough for them through the years? Have I been too tough on them or too controlling? Have I let them down? Did I teach them enough to help them be self-sufficient in this life? Will they have a good work ethic? Will they stay close to God? Have I been a good role model?

No one is perfect and I am proof of that! Most certainly I need God's grace to provide me with the reassurance that all is well. I don't deserve it, but I have accepted his grace just like I accept a gift. I don't have to earn his grace, I must simply accept it through a right and just relationship with our savior. Much like accepting a gift. If you choose to never unwrap it, you will never experience the peace that God gives through grace. Opening that gift is like opening a bundle of blessings. Those blessings are what I experience every day when I feel the hand of God upon me reassuring me that he is in control.

From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. ~ John 1:16

May you experience fullness of grace and revel in the blessings our God has to give.

Goodness of God

God has always been good. Maybe I haven't always seen it that way, but he has proven it to me over and over that it is true. Do I ever have doubts about his goodness and his plan in this world? Absolutely!

The past couple of weeks have given me more than a couple of reasons to question God and his goodness! Friends have lost loved ones; 17 year old Cole ~ the victim of a car accident; 47 year old Kevin, father of two ~ the victim of a car/train accident. A friend is injured; 69 year old Ron is still fighting for his life after a tragic tractor accident. One of my students; 6 year old Andre is fighting leukemia that is attacking his body with a vengeance after 4 years in remission. A local child I do not know, Calysta, kidnapped and beaten by her kidnapper until she was rescued today, thanks to an Amber Alert and the prayers of many who dropped to their knees and pleaded with God to save her.

Yes, God has a plan and yes, God is good all the time. The circumstances of this world and the situations that arise and that we are a part of don't always lend themselves to goodness, but God does have a plan and God is in control. He accomplishes his plan through all circumstances ~ both good and bad. We will experience his goodness and we will experience trials. We must not question him, but simply put our trust in him. He wants us to call out to him in our times of trouble and our times of doubt. He wants us to praise him at all times because he is God. (Psalm 145:3 ~ Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise.)

Our God is most worthy of praise! One only needs to look to the east in the dawning day to see the goodness of God. He paints us a glorious masterpiece as he brings a fresh new start to each day. His promise of goodness and grace abound in the rays of the rising sun and the reflect in the lightening sky. One can look to the west and see his Glory in the sunsets, in the mountains and the beauty he paints all around us. His light shines through, even the gray darkness of the trials we endure.

Great is the Lord and worthy of praise!