Direction

I am a mother of two teenage daughters and a very soon to be teenage son. Our conversations no longer dwell on the new Disney movie releases, the latest action figure toys or new Barbie dolls. Our conversations instead have turned to more grown-up topics and things like what they want to do with their lives or how do they know if they are going the right direction in life. How do they know if they are making the right choice when looking at a college and what about a major and what if they change their mind after they get there? Should they go to college out of town or stay close to home? What if they make the wrong choice?

These are the kind of questions that currently plague my senior daughter, Katie, who will be graduating 105 days from now. (She could quickly give me the hours, minutes and seconds too if I asked!) However unsure she may be about her actual direction in life, she seems to know without a doubt that she is leaving town and heading north to the college of her choice.

This mom hurts a bit when the reality of it all sinks in. The thought of Katie leaving home and wanting so desperately to escape the life we have here with her. She is ready to live her own independent life. Yes, this hurts. You see, this is my baby girl, my first born daughter whose due date of September 15 was exactly, to the date, the exact date that I lost our first baby 16 weeks in to my pregnancy. God has a way of turning anguish to joy. John 16:20 says “Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.” Yes, we lost a baby, but in losing that baby, God gave us Katie, then Aubrie and Jordan.

I suddenly feel like I am now losing my Katie to the big scary world, I realize that God has pre-ordained this step in her life. He has been growing her since the day of her conception. He has been preparing her for the direction she must take in her life. In preparing her, God entrusted her to us. Our job has been to parent her, raise her, teach her, direct her, guide her, nurture her and love her as we have each one of our children. Most importantly we have brought her up to love the Lord and seek His will in her life. I am confident that He will direct her path and fill her with peace as she realizes His will for her. Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not upon your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path.”

While I face the grief of losing my daughter to a college to the north, it really isn’t a loss, but an opportunity for growth and for joy to be born through this new experience in her life. In seeking out new experiences in their lives, I pray that my children will always seek His will. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” May their direction be God’s direction.